Open Letter to the Office of the Bursar

Dear Whoever:

Thank you for your automated form letter dated 5/8 2007. I'd like to extend to the Bursar's office my heartfelt gratitude that you, much in the style of an incompetent New York landlord that barely speaks English, informed me that I owe you money. I'm most grateful for this notification because otherwise, I would have never figured out why there was a hold placed on my registration when I tried to sign up for classes TWO FULL WEEKS AGO.

I'm particularly impressed that you were able to notify me of the hold on my class registration TWO FULL WEEKS after I tried to sign up. When I tried (and failed) to get my classes, eLion helpfully informed me that a hold had been put on my account, and that I should have received notification from the originating office when the hold was placed. I understand that your office must be under a lot of stress; I'm frankly impressed that you even bothered to SEND me a notification, let alone a notification so prompt that it only reached me TWO FULL WEEKS after I tried to register my classes. Boy, let me tell you, I love having to use trial-and-error to figure out why I can't register for classes.

Also, thank you for promptly informing me (again, in a letter dated 5/8) that the hold was lifted. You know, when I paid off my balance LAST WEEK.

I'm glad that you were able to be patient with me. Consider this a sincere apology. In the other form letter you sent me (also dated 5/8), your office clearly warned me that if I didn't pay off my balance by 5/25 (which is, I might add, two weeks and change from today), your office would take action. I was late - I suffered the consequence of a financial hold. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I'd also like to add how ecstatic I am that I'm paying the University ridiculous quantities of money for what apparently amounts to nothing.

Punctuality and promptness are two qualities that all Pennsylvania State University students should have; They demonstrate that you are a responsible potential employee. I commend you for setting a great example.

Any response should be submitted to me through an internet feedback forum, which is ALMOST as impersonal as a form email. This correspondence is also available in alternative media.

- Andrew Pierce