flying cars yet?

When I was in 8th, 9th, probably 10th grade, I would stay up late playing Half-Life and then sleep through school. I went through my days half-awake, frequently being yelled at for being asleep, often making various social blunders because I would say or do the wrong thing and, worse, overlook it or simply not care. Typically, I'd put my head down and throw on my Portable Compact Disc player, ignore everyone, and pretend to enjoy the isolation. Truth be told, I hated isolating myself, it was just easier, especially when my brain was in a fog.

Now, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, smoking weed every day will make you similarly retarded, although a week of abstinence is more than enough to sharpen you back up. I notice that my life as a fucking shithead stoner is much like my life as a fucking shithead teenager, except I have an iPod now and drugs cost more.

It begs the question of "why." As in, "Why would you spend upwards of $100 a week on weed alone?" I wish I could say that all of this crazy, wild substance abuse is part of a crazy, wild lifestyle, spending every night with a redhead in my lap, a credit card in one hand, and a rolled up 20 in the other. As it turns out, I'd say that I spent at least an hour each day this break packing bowl after bowl while my friends and I would wonder out loud, "What are we doing tonight?"

What happened to going out for dinner, seeing a movie, or even getting stoned and liking it? That's right, we used to get high and consider it to be a solid night of entertainment. Going on burnrides is fun, given the right tunes and the right people; neither is hard to find, at least where I'm from.

I like to think of myself as spontaneous, fun-loving, open. Something happened in 2007, something that put me in a funk. I guess it could have been getting in the habit of smoking in my dorm constantly. Who knows? I need to start learning to enjoy things like going to movies and even just watching TV with friends. Sitting around packing bowls and watching Adult Swim is old, yes, but I have at least a solid 60 more years on Earth, plenty of time for everything to "get old."

More likely than things getting old is the chance that I'm getting boring. For, you see, "only boring people ever get bored," a bit of advice that I used to live by, back in the days when I'd have a good time no matter what I was doing, even if the party tonight wasn't a "rager."

I've been trying to find an outside source to blame this sophomore slump on. I'm starting to suspect that I've just lost my ability to appreciate a sunny day for what it is, and I think that spending my days in a constant fog can blind me to that fact. Just walking downtown with a friend for a pack of smokes can be a great time, if you choose to enjoy it instead of throwing the ipod on, putting your head down, and wondering if there's anywhere to go.