Stalling for Time

Friday, December 29

Bad Christmas Spirit

Finals, the grades I received for them, working a 12-hour shift until 7 AM, not getting my fucking paychecks, a girl (also a few of my friends are having relationship problems, including one friend who got dumped by his fiancee over the phone on Christmas eve), last night, and tomorrow. Break has been a hell of a ride and I would like to go home now thank you.

Last night? Last night was a ride. Nate threw a party because, while on vacation, he ran away from his parents. He wanted to spend Christmas in Erie instead of Arizona, so he took a Greyhound back to Erie and broke into his house. Threw a party there, and it got busted, because that's how we roll around here.

Of course, a few people booked it (as always). I stayed behind because I smoke a pack a day and prefer not to run from cops, almost as much as I prefer not to run in general. So, they rounded up everyone who drove to the party and breathalyzed them. I blew a .05. PA's zero-tolerance laws fucked me here, but they didn't even take my name, nor did they perform sobriety tests on anyone who wasn't driving. We all got off, but I had to have Driscoll drive me back to my house. I had to leave my car at Nate's. Fantastic.

Cops said I could leave my car there until the morning, so I chilled at my house for a while and then stole my mom's car so that I could drive Gido out to Nate's and he could take my car home for me. A cop approaches my car in a parking lot as we're wasting some time and informs me that the car's registration is expired. Talked my way out of that one too, somehow, and also somehow acquired a massive headache at that point. I WONDER WHY.

My mom has suggested that I actually enjoy these "talk my way out of shit" shenanigans because I like playing with fire. She may be right, because I'm not too stressed out about last night, but it's another fucking thing in a long line of bullshit that's happened to me in the last few weeks.

Anyway, stole my car back and then DIDN'T GET ANY FUCKING SLEEP because in the morning I had to talk to a doctor about tomorrow.

Tomorrow I get my wisdom teeth out. I am not a happy person.

Monday, December 18

Maligning Mary

I went to Erie this weekend and decided that I hate it there. I feel so much more at home here than in Erie. I mean, it's a beautiful town with so much potential. Nobody gives Erie enough credit for how exciting of a place it actually is. The thing I hate about Erie is the people. I live in a town with 40,000 alcoholic, spoiled, white college kids. They're better drivers than people in Erie. Also people in Erie are fat and need to stop standing around the mall in the aisles while people are trying to get around them.

Maybe it's just bad Christmas spirit, but I can't stand being anywhere near the mall during the holidays.

Anyway, I got a 95% on my ENGL 030 final. I wrote about decriminalizing marijuana, a topic that has been the focus of college essays since my parents went to school. Nonetheless, I feel good about it.

The biggest problem with drug advocates is that their irrevocable, incapacitating addictions to marijuana prevent them from accomplishing absolutely anything, or for that matter, having the credibility to sway any public opinion outside the doors of a Phish concert. The reason for this inactivity is no more complicated than the simple fact that marijuana is a highly addictive drug and those under its influence lack the motivation and ability to lead a productive life. The fact that the retired CEO of Progressive Insurance, Peter Lewis, is a prominent figure in the fight to legalize marijuana in Nevada is only an exception to the rule (Stein 2). Michael Bloomberg’s admission to not only using, but also enjoying marijuana was blown way out of proportion (Manjoo). The ninety-four million Americans who have admitted to trying marijuana at least once (NORML) probably account for the majority of the unemployment statistics.

Actually, in light of all of those statistics, I think it’s important to take a step back and ask, with a slightly glazed-over look about the eyes, “Wait, what?” It seems strange that marijuana, the simple possession of which is a federal crime (Randall), has been used by well over a quarter of the population of the United States. Criminal offenses such as marijuana possession put people behind bars, and not the good kind. The federal law, therefore, implies that over a quarter of Americans should be housed within the correctional system, or at least within East Halls. It’d be nice to consider the fact that the law is geared more towards the distributors of the drug rather than the casual users, but eighty-eight percent of the marijuana arrests in 2005 were for possession. Even more surprisingly, those marijuana-related arrests, totaling over 750,000, outnumber murder, assault, violent rape, and robbery combined. It’s nearly frightening how much time and money is spent prosecuting people committing this “victimless crime;” I, for one, think it’s absolutely ridiculous that so many innocent people are put in jail (or worse, prison) for doing something completely amoral, especially because someday, it might be me or somebody close to me who is put in a position like that. Common sense clearly dictates that the criminality of marijuana possession is unfair towards responsible users of the drug.

There’s no question that consuming marijuana can have adverse health effects, but the question is, “How relevant are they?” According to an editorial in The Lancet, “The smoking of cannabis, even long term, is not harmful to health.” Even thirty years ago, the relative harmlessness of marijuana was known when a report commissioned by President Nixon clearly stated that “neither the marihuana user nor the drug itself can be said to constitute a danger to public safety (NORML).” The criminality of marijuana on the basis of health risks seems unfair, since there are plenty of fully legal adult activities such as using tobacco or alcohol that are known to increase the risk of disease, but are fully legal. Former President Jimmy Carter once said, “Penalties against drug use should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself,” (NORML) and the majority of marijuana advocates tend to agree.

If marijuana doesn’t have any significant impact on health in the long-term, then the reason for the illegality must be that the marijuana trade has negative impacts on society. However, if I recall correctly, the last time a relatively harmless recreational drug was made illegal, it promoted organized crime like nothing else, corrupted the bureaucracy of countless cities, and was the cause of numerous murders. Marijuana is hardly any different, although the Civil War on Drugs, much like another war that the United States is involved with at the moment, costs a ridiculous amount of money (over ten billion dollars a year, in fact), consumes law enforcement resources, and accomplishes little in the way of improving the country (NORML).

Decriminalizing marijuana is not that outlandish of a goal, but it requires the participation of people. Many average, responsible Americans use, or are close to people that use, marijuana, but they choose to do nothing about the “criminal” branding that these users receive. If American citizens supported politicians that are pro-decriminalization, or wrote to legislators about the importance of decriminalization, there would be more support for marijuana in the political arena, and all of these innocents would become innocent again. Unfortunately, the stereotype of what kind of person a marijuana rights activist is often detracts from their credibility and can make some people afraid to admit their use of the drug. Awareness, however, is key: Keeping people knowlegable about the topics would encourage activism and acceptance of the drug.

People from all walks of life are known to use marijuana, not just the aforementioned underachieving Phish fans. Is it fair for people to be branded as criminals when their only crime is possessing a drug with relatively harmless side-effects? No matter how responsible they are, being caught with the drug can ruin their career, can put them in prison, or cause them to lose their children, a fate which hardly seems fair for the 750,000 people arrested for marijuana each year.

Wednesday, December 13

Osama Obama

So, the big thing on the blogosphere right now is how Obama is a cockblock and people with the name Lovelady are pussies. Apparently Mr. Lovelady had attended a press conference and, standing next to the woman of his dreams, was shot down by Obama.

After about five questions from different television and newspaper reporters, I stood up to ask mine.

“Wait a minute son, this is for professional media only,” Obama said to me.

“What do you mean? I work for the local paper,” I said with a crackling nervous voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a college student. You have such a baby face,” he said with an unremorseful grin.

At that point everyone in the room turned to look at me and laugh. The 800 people in the lobby laughed as my face was projected on the big screen.

Are you serious? If he'd just laughed along, or shot back with his own one-liner, he could have had the girl and had a great "interview." The girl was probably disguisted with him already, seeing as he's blatantly socially inept.

His article became a big hit on the internet, and eventually got back to Obama himself. Soon thereafter, on NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," Obama calls and makes a public apology to Lovelady, saying that "I'm sorry for messing up your game." Lovelady accepts the apology, and now all is well in the world.

Monday, December 11

Comedy Cliche!

"While they all look posed, this one looks entirely too posed and the sleeping kid is obviously smiling. I like the idea, but I thought the assignment was supposed to be about something real."

Are you serious? It's about NINJAS KILLING PENN STATE STUDENTS. How fucking dense do you have to be to take it seriously? I'm fully aware that I violated the assignment criteria, and I don't care.

In other news, I'm employed now. I work for the Simmons dining commons, which is another way of saying "I'm a lunchlady now." I have no idea how much I make. I don't know how to do my job at all. It seems alright, though. Honestly, think about it for a second. I've had the three shittiest teenager jobs I can imagine:

  • Waldameer Park, where I hated my coworkers more than I hated the customers. And man, did I hate the customers.
  • GameStop, in the mall, through Christmas.
  • West Corporation, selling cheap trinkets to idiots for way more than they're worth. Often, idiots with no concept of courtesy and with short tempers.

I think I can deal with washing dishes for a few hours a day.

Friday, December 8

The Photo Essay

"Remember, your photo story should be about real events and/or people. This is not fiction. Thinking of a good idea for your topic is the main challenge of this assignment."

For this assignment, I emulated the works of Leonard Freed, who took pictures of black people living in "white america." He focused on their work and daily life, and I thought that would be a good theme. I took the idea in a new direction; Penn State University is predominately white, but there is a very active ninja community on campus. As ninjas are fairly under-represented, I wanted to show what their day-to-day life is like here.

Unit Four Photo Assignment

Tuesday, December 5

Illin'.

I'm really on top of things right now. No, really. I went to Pittsburgh this weekend and came back feeling a lot better about things in general.

The Pittsburgh trip was fun. I showed up at Pitt and visited Allen and Craig. They seemed pretty pumped about having acquired 3D Sex Villa. Okay, whatever. Also, apparently they'd purchased Fleshlights. I really don't know what to say about this. We hit up downtown Oakland and met up with goon Dusting Duvet who was gracious enough to run a few errands for us. We played some Kings. At the end of the night, Todd, Treven, Nick, and I went to South Park on a mission.

The details of the mission are not to be discussed here. Suffice it to say, it was epic.

Andy and I decided to take the trip on a whim. Both of us were in kind of an unmotivated funk after Thanksgiving break. I'd skipped a ridiculous amount of class the previous week and had no motivation to leave my room at all. Andy sympathised and suggested the trip, saying that maybe some time away (I have no idea why this worked. Time away from campus is what precipitated the underachieving in the first place) would help. He was right.

I'm caught up, class-wise. I have a job at the McKean Street Deli. I got work done today. I had a fabulous workout yesterday. I'm feeling good about the remainder of the semester.

Upcoming:
12/15 Madina Lake, Lorene Drive, theAUDITION, and 1 TBA @ Forward Hall $10
2/22 Armor For Sleep, UnderOath, and Taking Back Sunday @ BJC $20