That's a pretty face.

I went home for the holidays and it was exactly what I needed - seeing everyone again (and hell, hit up the mall for reasons uncertain to me) before finals season began. And now it's finals season. Damnit.

I saw Brand New last night and it was incredible. They fucking packed that gym with people and it was everything I hoped it could be and more. Brand New starts off their set with some old favorites to get everyone's attention, and then segues into the newer stuff. Everyone kept shouting requests for songs off of YFW and that's not going to fucking happen. YFW was nothing compared to Deja or Raging. I don't know why everyone thinks Brand New "sold out" or got lame or too artsy or whatever the hell people think after YFW. What, are they supposed to sing about a High School breakup until Jesse's 40?

Two things bothered me about the show: Security and High School. No moshing or crowdsurfing? That's such bullshit, not being allowed to move around. Also bullshit is security standing on the balconies with flashlights, shining them at undesirables. Kinda made the show suck, but on the other hand, best band ever so whatever. Christ, a few kids break their arms in pits and everyone freaks the hell out. I'd accept the miniscule risk (yeah, I'll sign a damn waiver) involved in participating in a mosh pit, fuck, I'd die for rock and roll (music saves your mortal soul). 'cuz damn, why would I go to a live show if I'm just gonna stand in the back nodding my head with my arms crossed? That's no fun - and you can't get too into the head-nodding, otherwise you look, like, totally gay. Unlike hardcore dancers :rolleyes:

High school is rad in general, yeah - where else would I pick up chicks? But I could do without the kids at shows that are invariably fourteen years old, wearing flipflops and really cute clothes so I can totally like, hit on the lead singer, maybe he'll let us on the tour bus OHMYGOD! You wear flip flops to a concert, your feet get stepped on, don't fucking whine, you should have known it was a retarded idea to wear flip-flops to something where several hundred people would be packed into a small place with loud music. Speaking of several hundred people, people get pushed at concerts and it gets hot and sweaty and the guy in front of you is like, really tall, and probably smells bad, and everyone's pushing to get up to the front and it sucks. Get over it, enjoy the show.

So yeah. I was a bit upset about that. It was an amazing show, though. No encore, but for the last song, Brand New and Manchester Orchestra (opening band, wishes they were mwY) all came out onto stage and just started making ridiculous amounts of noise. They looked like they were having a great time, and that's rad. I love live shows - seeing someone who's passionate about music play is incredible.

I got a drumstick.

(final word on vtech, before everyone starts to forget about it: anything - including making fun of it - is a much better way of coping with the situation than, say, freaking the fuck out and making everything illegal and sending everyone who writes "dark" fiction to a counselor and putting metal detectors in every school. Apparently America loves hunting terrorists - Cho was a terrorist. I'll fly with the tried-and-true cliche here: If you freak out about VTech, the terrorists have already won. Getting all uptight about it solves nothing, and making stupid little magnetic ribbons to put on your car won't bring the kids back, but it will make some asshole money because he thought it'd be a totally rad idea to exploit tragedy. Don't buy into the bullshit.)

vtech just kicked in yo

Wanted: A shirt that says "WON'T KILL YOU." Just so that people on campus don't feel nervous around me.

Cho sent a package to NBC News before the killings, because NBC News is for terrorists. Included were a number of pictures of himself (holding gunz) as well as a typed statement and a video wherein he rants about what annoys him. So let's think about this for a second. Socially maladjusted retard writes a bunch of crap about how much he hates everyone and takes pictures of himself trying (and failing) to look cool. I think we all know exactly what to blame for this.

Jon Signed Off (1:10:00 PM): i know, right? He took out an entire server worth of people before he went out
Jon Signed Off (1:10:08 PM): oh shit dude, what if he respawns
Ant (1:10:28 PM): that was probably his plan
Ant (1:10:45 PM): using a /kill while on top

Brorape vs. Chorape

Alright, before I get to making fun of it, It's time to honestly take a second to grieve for everyone - everyone - at VT and their families. Even the people who didn't know a single victim, their families are probably worried sick and, let's be honest, 32-person massacre on your campus? I'd probably be pretty fucked up afterwards. It's a terrible thing.

That said, I'm really glad that college students, in their infinite wisdom, were able to make a Facebook group about the shooting only hours after it happened.

The shooter's name was Cho Seung-hui (South Korea re%) and it doesn't surprise me at all that the fuckstick covering the story on FOX News accidentally referred to him as Chung. He was the first-generation son of a pair of dry cleaners and reportedly committed the crimes in reaction to his WoW characters getting deleted.

Seriously though, a note left at the scene of the original "isolated incident" said something to the effect of, "rich kids suck also debauchery is lame" according to FOX News. I don't know why I was watching FOX News. Nonetheless, cops are investigating his motives (apparently everyone thinks it's related to a break-up or something lame like that), but seriously, I can tell you exactly what the motive was.

People in this Goddamn country are too fucking spoiled and retarded to do shit for themselves and they're all a bunch of retarded fucking fratboys who have no interests except Natty Light and daterape. Billboard's Pop Top 5 for this week are Timbaland, Gwen Stefani, Akon, Fergie, and Avril Lavigne. The #7 song is called "This Is Why I'm Hot." People are still paying money for Ugg boots. Is it really a fucking mystery why this kid fucking snapped? Everyone around him was GODDAMNED RETARDED and as far as I'm concerned, he did exactly what every rational person fantasizes about before bed.

Two things bother me about the way this case is being handled:

The media is treating "omg he was a loner and probably mentally unstable" as if it's the clue of the Goddamned century, as if knowing that will not only help us figure out why he committed the crime, but will also cure AIDS. OF COURSE HE WAS A FUCKING LONER. When's the last time you saw a completely well-adjusted person involved in a school shooting? Like, "GODDAMNIT ALL, my friends are SO AWESOME and my parents are totally supportive of me and I have a solid relationship with the woman of my dreams. Fuck! I need to shoot some people!" No shit he was a loner, are you journalists fucking retarded, or is your target audience just too fucking dense to figure that out for themselves? All this kind of "reporting" will do is cause everyone to look at me (more) funny when I mention that I used to play a lot of Starcraft.

Problem two: The police seized his computers to find a possible motive for the crime. I just told you the motive for the crime: People are really fuckin' stupid and the kid was enough removed from reality that he didn't mind doing something about it. Why did he specifically target the first two victims before the spree began? Answer: They probably deserved it. Well, no, but they probably did deserve a good punch in the face. Nonetheless, why search the kid's hard drive? You won't find anything there besides World of Warcraft and tentacle porn. Trying to figure out what videogames this kid plays won't bring the victims back, okay? Because trying to learn more about the shooter will accomplish nothing - nothing - besides finding some OMG SCAPEGOAT for everyone to blame this on.

What worries me about the situation is that he looks a lot like me with short hair, and not just because we all look the same. I'm probably going to trip on my way to class or something and mutter "fuck" to myself and everyone around me backs off a bit in case I pull out a gun and start shooting. Like, I'll probably get drunk and stumble to McLanahan's for cigarettes and a bunch of cops pop out trying to arrest me for public intoxication, then realize that I'm Asian and then just decide to Rodney King my ass in case I'm armed.

South Korean diplomats are going to VT. Why? Why? WHY? It is entirely Goddamned insignificant that he's South Korean. COMPLETELY. If my native country had ANY fucking balls, they wouldn't go there. The motive behind the shooting was a product of his environment, and you know what that means? It means it's our fucking fault. I'm not saying he was justified, but what the fuck does Korea have to do with ANYTHING?

I do have to congratulate Cho on how thorough he was. 32 confirmed kills? I bet that kid played mad Counter-Strike.

Obey the Lizard.

The only way I can watch CNN without getting depressed is if I'm watching the commercials.

I'm watching CNN today while eating breakfast and all I see is political unrest, shitty weather forecast, and a murder case in which some bitch killed her husband immediately after incurring $5,000 in overdraft fees from her bank. Her defense was that the gun was broken and went off "on accident" and that she just didn't want him to flip out at her over a "bad check" and oh yeah, he was abusive. Honestly, I've come up with better excuses for shit in sixth grade. She might as well have just went with the "I was just holding the gun for someone else! I didn't know it was loaded!"

Of course, someone testified that the gun was working perfectly and that she's probably just a huge liar. Oh well.

Hm, child abuse case where the defendant was an older woman who had sex with her son's friend, age 14. Her defense? "He's, like, really mature! It's like he's 14 going on 40! Like, you know? And I'm totally sorry." The judge's response was something to the tune of "You just don't get it, do you, asshole?" and that sounds about right to me. Yeah, the kid was probably thinking "SWEET, I totally just hooked up with Danny's mom!" but he's still young, and he'll regret it somewhere down the line.

Actually no. But, whatever.

So, what happy news did I see on CNN today in the half hour that I saw it? A stupid non-news thing about the MOST EXCITING NEW HOME TREND SINCE THE TWO-CAR GARAGE! Know what it was? Separate bedrooms. And yes, there was some upper-middle-class couple on there talking about how separate bedrooms (and bathrooms) afforded them more personal space. The separate bedrooms SAVED THEIR MARRIAGE! And so did having an outdoor kitchen, complete with fireplace, on their deck. And other things as well.

So, the only thing I saw on the news today that didn't really upset me per se was basically 5 minutes of "YOU'RE UNHAPPY! BUY THINGS!" The commercials were essentially the same way. I don't want to get all tinfoil hat about it, but it's still kind of creepy.

I was thinking, I want my kid to be named something badass, like Johnny Champagne or Joe Prince (which is an anagram of my own name! omg!). Middle name is Danger, of course, because that's what I always wanted. Or maybe a single name like Prince or Madonna. That'd be cool to just be named "Danger" or "Awesome" or "Accident" or "Child Formerly Known as Failed Abortion." And if Bombshit Danger Pierce turns out to be an asshole, his name is getting changed to Leopold Porkstack Cornswallow. I'll do it, the fucker. Get a D on your 3rd grade three-digit-addition exam? Your ass is grass, Leo.

And if it's a girl, I'mma name her Ashley. Maybe Claire. I always thought that'd be a cute name, Claire.

I'm an addict!

There are some really fucking dumb people going through this school and that depresses me. I (pretended to) work so hard to get in here and apparently they'll just let in any fucking moron who can write them a check. Case in point: two letters to the Collegian editor about the legality of marijuana.

That second letter is so mind-staggeringly retarded that I can't even comprehend it. The moron equates marijuana to meth, makes broad, sweeping generalizations about users (wait, 1 out of 3 Americans have smoked marijuana), ignores the fact that drug users are criminals because they do illegal drugs and to say that "only criminals will benefit from pot being legal" is circular fucking reasoning, and really doesn't say much of anything, let alone anything based in fact. I hope that Hank Brandenberger dies in a fire.

I have fired off my own letter to the editor regarding the first:

I’d like to defend Ms. Jasorka’s assertion that marijuana needs to be decriminalized.

Ms. Pomerantz, in her letter, stated the numerous health risks of marijuana. I don’t want to dwell on the validity of that remark, but suffice it to say that THC does not cause physical dependency. The flip-side to that is that gambling won’t cause physical dependency either, but a lack of personal responsibility is hardly the fault of a plant.

Health risks are personal risks – why should the public be involved? Some say that marijuana, the “Gateway Drug,” cultivates an “addictive personality” due to its addictive nature. Clearly this drug is a scourge upon our nation – won’t somebody please think of the children? I choose to disagree with the idea of a Gateway Drug – Americans ingest another, far more addictive chemical on a daily basis: caffeine. Yes, the average citizen of this great land drinks 216 litres of carbonated beverages every year, and yet we’ve somehow managed to avoid becoming a nation of heroin addicts.

The bottom line here isn’t whether or not marijuana is harmful. It’s more of a question of whether or not the public should be concerned with personal choices. Aren’t all marijuana-induced costs to society the direct result of marijuana prohibition? It’s 2007. We, as a nation, should be bright enough (or is our President starting to rub off on us?) to realize that the greatest consequences of responsible marijuana use shouldn’t be the ones we impose on ourselves.

I dunno, what do you think?

Addendum (2)

Last night, I watched a huge pack of Asians in black jumpsuits and backpacks get off of an elevator and walk past me. No, seriously, they all had matching black Dickies jumpsuits. What the fuck is that about?

He's sure that he could be a movie star.

I think it's cool how this campus just keeps getting smaller and smaller. Like, on facebook (omg why didn't you poke me back you fucking bitch), I'll see the most random people under my friends' mutual friends list. I guess that if we're all six degrees from Kevin Bacon, then it's not that hard to believe that some girl I hit on at a frat party is also friends with someone I know back home. Kinda creepy, yeah, but not that surprising.

I saw Grindhouse and it kicked ass. I can't say anything more than that; It's exactly what you'd expect from Rodriguez and Tarantino. It's a lot of fun. I mean, killing zombies is an age-old recipe that would never let me down, and Rodriguez pulls it off flawlessly. Everything about this movie, from the scratched film to the fake trailers, is incredible. It's stupid, it's fun. Shouting at and applauding the screen is a standard occurance. Grindhouse might be a stupid, mindless movie (it's not), but I don't care. It was so fucking fun I couldn't believe it.

Seriously though, Rodriguez and Tarantino, those guys need locked up 'cus they're both fucking nuts.

You can't kill me, motherfucker!

It's a pretty sad fucking state of affairs when I'm so socially retarded that I don't have anyone to talk to, so I talk to myself on an internet blog. It's even worse when I make small talk with myself on said internet blog. Which is why I really need to stop whining about the weather on here, but they say to "write what you know" and I know that I'd be a happy fucking faggot if we were done with winter by, say, the time Spring starts. Honestly, fuck that. I mean, I thought we were done with this shit. Long winters are shitty, I guess, but it's a long shot better than a week of beautiful 70-80 degree weather followed by a week of 30s. I mean, come on man, that's not cool, that's not cool at all.

Last night I was up pretty late memorizing a scene (hurrrrr) for my Theatre class. Apparently, if I was being casted in a movie, my character would be of the "batshit insane" variety. The character I have to play for my final scene is a guy whose parents died while he was young; he and his sister became what I'd describe as "goddamned fuckin' crazy." To the point where the sister is pregnant with the brother's kid. They talk to stuffed animals; they hope that their child is deformed.

Do I come off as that kind of guy? Like, if you found that out about me, would you be surprised or would you just go, "eh, saw it coming"? I mean, it's a fun role to play, no shit, but damn, I'm still creeped out about being cast in it.

Stalker: Shadows of Chernobyl and Command and Conquer 3 are fucking incredible. So is Santi, but I haven't given it a good enough listen to really judge it. Maybe in another update. For now, I'll raise my glass to, I don't know, people that drink alone at 10:30 in the morning. hay wai-