Dis-Oriented

It happened today.

I had a fucking incredible summer. It was cool to slow it down a little and enjoy myself. The whole "no job" experiment went really well. Fucking nuts, right? Who knew doing jackshit nothing could be so much fun?

So after 3 months of taking it easy and absolutely loving my general "what I got goin' on," I had to peace out of that piece and come to state to be a bitch. I was really anxious about it. After 3 solid months of continuous self-abuse, it's hard to come back to a place where - omfg - you might go as long as 24 hours at a time without any free time. Success is hard! Simply moving to another place is pretty stressful as well. There's a pretty big shock, having to leave behind all of your friends, all your old haunts, all your habits. Your life. And being obligated to pick up another one where you left off doesn't help.

So what happened today? I stopped caring. It was great. I woke up with the feeling that four hours of class in a day is absolutely reasonable. Not feeling anxious about having to reconnect with different people. Liking the upward mobility of my life here - And, while I wouldn't necessarily call my life in Erie a "downward spiral," there's very little motivation to do anything besides wander in no particular direction at all.

So, I'm here. Back home. I'm good about it.